Each time I approach the blog classification of Spirit, I ask myself what applies to this category? Where is spirit located in my life? How does it support the “three-legged stool,” to borrow a phrase, of my life plan – mind, body, and spirit. Spirit is amorphous; it is a little woo-woo in some respects. It is what animates the body until death, and that is why so many cultures and peoples believe it lives on after that.
In my life, spirit lives in my faith and religion, and it also lives in respect for the beliefs of others. Spirit exists in the way I care for my body and the way I care for my mind. They are gifts and the current home of spirit. There is spirit in the natural world and the creatures that share it with us. That, too, is a gift that we should nurture.
As we go through life, aging every day despite ourselves, we start carrying a load in our minds and bodies. Not much is done in our culture to teach us skills for handling life. So, a lot of the information and discussion in the blog is to offer thoughts and methods to help us live well. If we’re living, we’re aging. That doesn’t mean we should stop learning or improving our lives.
When you reach a certain age (I’m not sure exactly where that boundary lies), time seems like it begins to fly by us. It’s a phenomenon often mentioned by the aging. I’m not sure what age I first noticed it. My son, who turned forty this year, said this year flew by faster than any he had experienced. Does the sensation start at forty then? Is it like going up a roller coaster? You creak to the top, over the hump and zoom, you’ve crossed the divide.
There is another change of perception as we age. That is a more real awareness that we are growing closer to the final rest. Not only is there more awareness, but there is also more acceptance. You may have felt this. I certainly have. According to studies, fear of death tends to peak in our twenties, rises again for women in their fifties, and then eases. I did a little research, and several studies have shown that by our sixties and seventies, people experience this growing acceptance of their own mortality.
This isn’t about seeking death. It’s simply more acceptance that time is shorter. I have certainly experienced it over the past year to the extent that I did what I had not been able to do before. My husband and I bought a burial site, so the children wouldn’t have to worry about that.
I was reading in a Psychology Today article that older people tend to quit rushing toward some future goal and begin to find calm in their daily activities. They reflect on their lives and come to some reconciliation with the past. They feel more gratitude for the good days and the good times. This made me think of the practice of mindfulness, which is related to meditation but doesn’t require that you step away from what you are doing to practice it.
Can you pull up the memory of a special dinner you enjoyed? The color, the flavors, the scents? Who was with you? What was the room like? Do you wish you could be there again? Were you present for it? Too often we move through our days on automatic pilot, focused on some outcome or some future event that promises to be better. Many of us can’t remember or describe the scene from yesterday’s lunch or time with family. We were in our heads worrying about a coming appointment, planning a trip, or wanting to order that cute sweater on the internet. We were not present. In mindfulness, there is something called the 3-3-3 rule.
It’s a grounding technique used to reduce anxiety and bring your attention back to the present moment.
- If you’re experiencing anxiety, look around the room and name three items that you see.
- Pause and, if safe, close your eyes and name three sounds you hear.
- Move or wiggle three separate body parts.
I went to the Y today and spent some time on the elliptical. Since my A-fib diagnosis, I’m a little leery of raising my heartbeat with exercise for fear it won’t go back down. I know that my body likes exercise and that exercise is good for me, so there I was at the Y pedaling up and down and feeling my heartbeat speed up, getting in my head, and growing anxious. I thought about the 3-3-3 rule and looked around the Y and picked out three things I could see. After that I started listening. I did not close my eyes. I could hear another machine clinking rhythmically behind me. I could hear two male voices talking near me, and I could just barely hear voices from the televisions on the wall. At that point, just about all of my body was moving, so the third part of the exercise was easy.
I knew what I was doing, but surprisingly – it worked! My mind had stopped worrying about my heartbeat, and suddenly I noticed a friend across the room. I’ve tried practicing mindfulness while putting the kitchen to rights – focusing on each motion of my hands, the warmth of the water coming from the faucet, carefully placing a dish in the dishwasher and the light coming through the window. It’s amazing how calming it is to simply be present for what you are doing rather than letting your mind bounce all over the place. The secondary reward? Time seems to expand and slow down. Maybe that is the answer to my son’s observation. We can’t stop the roller coaster, but we can be present for the ride.
Spirit lives within us and wants a place in our lives. We must slow down to welcome it, and to see the spirit in others. One of my favorite quotes is, in short:
I wish I could show you… the astonishing light of your own being.
– Hafez, as rendered by Daniel Ladinsky