Our minds are a tool. Like the warning attached to a lot of AI sites today, they can make mistakes. As we age, we have time to gather a lot of mistaken thoughts. They can bring with them a lot of unhappiness or simply – mistakes. Those thoughts we develop and hone as we age affect our view of life and our relationships with those around us. They can affect our health and our joy and our lifespan.
For instance, there is a quote often attributed to sociologist Charles Horton Cooley that goes, I am not what I think I am, and I am not what you think I am; I am what I think you think I am. To me that says something like: We do not live and see our authentic selves and project that to the world, we try to be and project what we think the people around us want to see. It reminds me of something I cross-stitched when I was in my twenties. It went:
IF I TRY TO BE LIKE YOU, WHO WILL BE LIKE ME?
I mentioned in a recent post under Spirit that I like some of the practices and wisdom of Buddhism. Buddhism shares a related insight – basically “you are not your thoughts.” You may have seen this floating around the culture. It’s a core principle in mindfulness and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). It is intended to separate you from the random noise inside your brain. In cognitive therapy, a foundational rule is that thoughts are not facts. Just because you think: Nobody likes me or I’m too old to try doing that doesn’t make it fact.
In meditation the idea is to filter out random thoughts so that we may find the self or simply wipe the slate clean of all the daily debris. Zen Buddhism says that thoughts passing through your mind are like clouds floating across the blue sky. You are the blue sky; you are not the clouds. Oddly enough I experienced something similar recently. I was asking AI a question using the vocal speaker. Suddenly, a lot of words I wasn’t saying started appearing on the screen. I realized the speaker was picking up the television running in the background. We’re the same. We pick up all kinds of ideas, projections, and experiences as we go through each day. They are often filtered by our emotions. Emotions deserve attention; but though they are real, they are not always a good judge of reality. Meditation is a practice that allows us to sit quietly and gradually filter or sweep all of this background noise out of our mind and let those clouds float out of our piece of blue sky.
You observe the thoughts. You are not the thoughts themselves. That gives you a chance to find yourself in all the clutter of the day – the half-formed worries, the I should haves, the thing you forgot to do, the worry that maybe you looked foolish to someone. These thoughts all stick with us at the end of the day. They accumulate and keep us awake, and we carry them into another day where we gather a whole host of new ones.
I’ve meditated off and on through the years as needed you might say – when life was bumpy and I felt I was flying away from my center. The center for me is a place of calm, or contentment, of acceptance and confidence. It’s a place where I can be me. It’s a place that can slow everything down when nurtured. During the last few months with the A-fib diagnosis and the Whoop band readouts, I have also used meditation to improve my sleep patterns and bring down my heartbeat to a slower pace. Other tools I’ve used are cyclic breathing and box breathing to lower my heart rate. I can see these benefits objectively with my own eyes. There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy. When aging, we should not be too old to learn.
There are many forms of meditation (walking, seated, chanting, using breath, using a mantra) and many books on the subject. There is meditation on prayerful subjects. There are meditation apps available. Just sitting relaxed but straight in a chair and breathing in and out through the nose easily while letting the thoughts drift by like clouds without holding on to them is one of the simplest. I also like the “loving kindness” meditations which leave me feeling comforted and more positive. I’m sure your local bookstore or library has plenty on the subject, but I’m including a link to a recent article and the name of a book.
Harvard Health: Meditation techniques – how to meditate for stress, sleep, and focus
How to Meditate: A Practical Guide to Making Friends with Your Mind by Pema Chödrön
I always recommend using your library or local bookstore if possible. The book also comes in an audio version that is relatively expensive. I was able to get it through the library app on my phone, which is a wonderful service.
I enjoy exploring and offering ideas here. It is up to you to follow up on them – or not, or to decide if they are helpful to you. Some of the ideas I will offer in the blog will be old like meditation which has enjoyed a revival in current times, and its benefits objectively tested. Other things I’ll discuss are new science like the Vagus nerve stimulator for RA. As implied above, not much is new under the sun as yoga and cyclic breathing also affect the Vagus nerve.
What do you think about meditation? Have you tried it? Please feel free to comment.